Here’s what they said:
1.
“Ensure that both of you have hobbies that are done without the other.
You married the individual that you met so long ago.
You want to protect their sense of self because changing that core feature can be catastrophic.”
“How much we will change.
We have been together since high school.
We are now in our 30s.
He wants to move to a red state due to cheap housing and I won’t step foot.
Mindy, 33, Maryland
3.
“It took some time to realize I had to consider him when making plans.
“We make it a habit to discuss our weeks and slow our RSVPs before talking about it.
farrenmay
4.
“That infidelity is not always enough reason to divorce.
For some yes, but we worked it out.
“Aging apart in physical health.
My husband has not.
We are not aging the same.
He has no energy for anything and would rather me forego the activity also.
We are both feeling resentful.”
Kris, 42
6.
“Handling blame for one thing or another is a challenge.
No one wants to be wrong or caught in a screw-up, right?
Anonymous
7.“Parenting.
Its a lot harder on a relationship than you realize.
I hear all the plunks and grunts.
I hate waking up this way but I guess having three bathrooms doesnt give us enough privacy.
When you gotta go you gotta go, especially right next to my bed.
beccaw4794ea400
9.
“Picking something or somewhere to eat for dinner!
laurajulie
12.
Anonymous, 42
13.
“Even with separate bank accounts, certain financial decisions have to be made together.
“Communication is haaaaaard.
Even though you want to and you know that this is the person that deserves it most.”
mummypig1978
15.
“My husband struggles with some mental health issues.
I’m always worried about how he’s doing.
I am there 1,000,000%, but it’s always something I’m going to be worried about.
When you’re married you are the first person they go to when they’re struggling.
I knew that going in and I have no problem with that.
But you don’t get a break from worrying.”
hiddencake55
16.
“You will never stop learning how to communicate.
There are going to be periods of your marriage where you may just not like each other.
But for commitment to persist it requires daily work to continue to grow together.”
17.“Self-reflection.
I was always unaware of my own shortcomings until I saw how it impacted my husband.
I’m trying to be better and rewrite my bad habits for him.”
Mads, 26
18.
“Being expected to make decisions every single day.
It’s exhausting.”
Anonymous, 38, California
19.
I had some bad experiences and finally chose someone awesome.
I now fear because he is so great that he will eventually leave me.”
Anonymous, 31, Maryland
20.
“Not wanting to be around them or care for them when they are sick.
A sick grown man grosses me out.”
We speak the same language, but were raised in different countries with different cultures.
Our words, actions, and communication come off totally different in many aspects.
Weve learned to manage, but even after 17 years we still struggle sometimes.”
LG
22.
My husband is a daily pot smoker.
It doesn’t interfere with his job or paying the bills or anything like that.
It’s just I hate that he does it so much.
I smoke weed maybe twice a year and drink alcohol maybe two days a month.
“It’s not like we are working all the time.
We take multiple vacations and small trips throughout the year.
I don’t know if I can do it forever.”
Anonymous, 33
25.
He helps of course, but like, he doesnt see (or care about) the smaller things.
Does he think a magical cleaning gnome comes out at night and empties the bathroom trash cans?
Or wipes off those fingerprints from the corners of the white walls?
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.
