Recently, I asked theBuzzFeed Communityto share what made them finally choose toend their long marriage.
Here are a few of their heartbreaking stories.
Note: This post contains mentions of abuse, addiction, and suicide.
He was self-employed and earned so much more than he had shared with me.
I paid more than 50 percent of the expenses, and he kept $500k+ for himself."
“I was married for 30 years to a man who was a serial cheater.
Before we had our only child, I put up with that, thinking it would stop.
There was evidence of cheating once again, and I stayed another three years before I found out.
It’s been five years since the divorce, and I couldn’t be happier.
The funny thing is his new partner reached out to me wanting some information on him.
Like honey, you were cheating with a married man, and I owe you nothing!
Good luck with that!”
Anonymous, 63, Canada
3.
“I was married to my high school sweetheart.
We were together for 24 years and married for 22.
The kids were growing up and not needing the same level of hands-on parenting.
She got into an emotional affair with someone new in her work life.
I called her out on it and she tried to deny it.
She would lie about seeing or talking to him.
The final straw was when I caught her walking into his house with an overnight bag.
She told me she was going to be at her aunt’s house two hours away.
She either wasn’t smart enough to turn off her location or wanted to get caught.
“I had put up with enough bullshit: cheating, lying, stealing, and so much gaslighting.
Should I have left earlier?
poeticmule208
5.
“He cheated after 19 years of marriage with my best friend.
And that’s not even why I ended it.
That’s when I realized it was over and had been for a long time.”
“I was actually part of a throuple with a couple that had been married for 20 years.
We dated for the last five years of their marriage.
They had been together since high school and were just going through the motions and checking off milestones.
“After about a year, we became a throuple.
The wife was an emotional roller coaster and had serious self-confidence issues.
The husband was shocked that a relationship didn’t have to be so hard and dramatic.
He didn’t know anything else.
Anonymous, 45, North Carolina
7.
“We had been married for 18 years.
I didn’t even want to walk in the house.
We visited my mother-in-law frequently, and I saw how horribly unhappy she was.
One day, I said to myself, that’s not going to be me.
At that point, I never engaged in another fight and told him shortly after that I wanted out.
We both deserve to be happy.”
He became mean, angry, and impossible to live with.
I tried for another two years, but it just kept getting worse.
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer a year ago, I realized that life was short.
It was too much for me, and I had to end it.”
Brandi, 54, Massachusetts
9.
“I was married for 26 years.
Just before the Great Recession, my husband decided to become an over-the-road trucker and purchased a semi.
Our sons were going into 7th grade and needed their father around, but he did this regardless.
The recession, combined with quite a few financial mistakes he made, brought us many financial hardships.
Some years, he only sent about $4,000 to support the family.
“After being married for 24 years (somewhat unhappily), I inherited just over $1.2 million.
Inheritances don’t get included in a divorce, so he got none of them.
This was eight years ago.
Ann, 56, Canada
11.
“After 23 years of marriage and four children, I divorced my husband.
He was my high school sweetheart.
I always worked part-time and was the cook, chauffeur, cleaner, and full-time parent.
Everything was my fault.
He was not present at most family events, had temper tantrums, and blamed me for everything.
He wasn’t a nice person.
I think he liked the look of being married with a family, but that was it.
Of course, he doesn’t believe his actions were the reason for the demise.”
He went to an out-of-state school for a three-year program, which stretched into four years.
I worked full-time, raised our children, paid every bill, and generally managed everything.
There was definitely resentment building.”
I am so happy I finally filed for divorce.
His metaphorical Pikachu face of surprise was the most ridiculous thing ever.”
Anonymous, 45, Pennsylvania
13.
“I planned a family weekend for my birthday since our children live in different states.
The next day, he gave me the card when I was packing up.
Twenty-four years of dedicating my life to him and his career, and I realized I was done.”
The lies and losses were insurmountable when he wouldn’t seriously work on his problem.
I am now living my best life on one income instead of always being broke with two incomes.
Anonymous
15.
“He was emotionally and mentally abusive.
I was having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts and decided to take care of my mental health.
I started feeling better mentally and was becoming my fun social self again.
He got mad that I was upset and yelled at me.
I started planning my exit then.
We would have celebrated our 18th anniversary in the next few weeks.”
“I never came first.
I had to always fight for my place over his mother.
They are an enmeshed family.
Eventually, mental health and addiction finished us off.
So we probably divorced much sooner due to addiction.
Anonymous, 43
17.
“My wife and I had started three manufacturing businesses during COVID.
Sadly, they all failed.
It took a huge hit on me mentally.
I was diagnosed with severe depression.
My wife did nothing to help and said that she wanted to move on and have fun.
So, she did nothing to help me with my depression and moved out last year.
Those two men are married as well.
The president’s wife and my wife were best friends while she was doing this.
When I figured out he had a boyfriend on the side, that was it.
Two years later, I’m living in peace and joy, and my home is calm.
I wish I’d left years ago.
I’m so grateful to be out of that toxic relationship.”
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Note: Some responses have been edited for length/clarity.
TheNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineis 1-800-273-8255.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911.
