“My kid farted and said, ‘Theres a duck in my butt!’
She was 3 at the time.
I lost it.”
u/Complete-Plenty-236
2.
“I told a little girl one time that her shoes were on the wrong feet.
She burst into tears and said, ‘But these are the only feet I’ve got!'”
u/Comprehensive_Debt_7
3.
“An adorable 4-year-old trick-or-treater rang my doorbell.
She looked like Cindy-Lou Who fromHow The Grinch Stole Christmas.
I don’t know what happened to my dad’s girlfriend.
My mother hated her.'”
u/AnybodySeeMyKeys
4. u/SereniaKat
5.
“My stepdaughter was about 5 or 6 when I got pregnant with her half-brother.
It’s still one of my most precious memories of when she was little!”
u/HEB33
6.
My girlfriend laughed and said, ‘No, it’s way too early.’
Her 7-year-old niece then said, ‘That’s right.
Better look for a guy with more qualities.’
I was speechless."
u/Over-Resolution-8704
7. u/captainz2011
8.
“Yesterday, a kid said to me, ‘You look like you suck at basketball.'”
u/Car_loapher
9.
“My stepdaughter fell onto her arse.
Apparently, she hurt her ‘buttknuckle.'”
u/floydie1962
10.
I said, ‘Eh, I don’t know.
How do you draw the energy plot of a square signal?’
and this kid, confidently and without missing a beat, said, ‘With a pencil.'"
u/spoonthrows
11. u/gayrayofsun
12.
Then, after I said I couldn’t say, he asked why.
I was just defeated at that point.
Why didn’t the mom didn’t intervene?
u/Puzzled-Ad-2339
13.
Pretty cool, right?
My conservative uncle was complimenting his shirt.
My little guy replied, ‘Thanks!
And hey, look.
The mouth is the a-hole!!’
I think my uncle’s soul left his body.
My kid had no idea why everyone was laughing so hard."
u/CatScratchEther
14.
“I was doing a kid puzzle with my niece when she was really young.
You don’t know how.'”
u/exoticjess
15.
“Not to me, but my friend’s daughter said to him: ‘Daddy?
Does mommy know you’re my daddy?'”
u/BuBleGum21
16.
“I once overheard a kid trying to convince his friend that he had superpowers.
It was a charming mix of innocence and creativity!”
u/podhorodynski
17.
It makes me think of monsters.’
I’m not sure what forged that association in her brain."
u/Hot-Stand-2601
18.
“My 5-year-old calls the concession stand at arenas the ‘concussion stand.’
It has gotten us some weird looks.”
u/dadchem
19.
“Our first-grade daughter told us that she broke up with her crush.
She said, ‘I don’t have a crush on him anymore.
He is so annoying.
I want somebody serious, smart, who actually listens and makes a good team.’
u/spicyshrimppaste
20.
“My kid is 4 and we were talking about space.
In space, there are asteroids, planets, and black holes.
He misunderstood and confidently said, ‘There are butts in space.’
I guess he heard ‘butthole’ instead of ‘black hole.'”
u/maxis2bored
21.
“I worked at daycare for a bit, and they said funny stuff all the time.
u/JamSqueezie
22.
“This is one of the cutest things my friends kid said to me.
He was doing karaoke at my house and I said, ‘Kid, youre a rock star!’
He responded all emotional and said, ‘Noooo, Im little!'”
I was surprised but thought, how bad could it be?
He then proceeded to rap while his buddy attempted to beatbox.”
u/DJWP137
24.
“I was helping my grandmother grocery shop with my much younger cousins.
I took one to the bathroom while she grabbed a few more things.
As we were walking back to her, he, very loudly, said, ‘Look!
It’s grandma’s special juice!’
while pointing at the wine aisle.”
u/Huge_Policy_6517
25. and punched my dad right in the balls.
Funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”
u/Coffin_Flopper
26.
“That I look like an egg, lol.”
u/Interesting_Move_919
27.
“Not me, but a friend.
His young son was being naughty, so he left the room for a moment.
My friend went and told his partner, ‘Our lad is being a right arsehole!’
The son came marching in and shouted: ‘I AM NOT A PARCEL!'”
u/DonKiddic
28.And: “My cousin was obsessed withShrek.
u/anotherwolfbite
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
