We asked an etiquette expert how to handle a neighbor who has loud solo sex.

I live in a New York City studio apartment with cement walls that are apparently a little too thin.

Should I somehow let him know by slipping an anonymous note under his door?

A man and woman lie in bed, both holding pillows over their ears and looking distressed as if disturbed by a loud noise

Or do I let him go on and mind my own business?

(Loud neighbor sex weve heard of, but loud neighbormasturbationis a different story.)

And yes, lest we forget, lovemaking.

A woman in a white cardigan holds two pillows to her ears, looking frustrated. Background shows sheer curtains and a bright room

(Or in this case, solo love.)

Vexingly, the neighbor generating the noise is often completely unaware they are making any disturbance at all.

This devolution is unfortunate.

A couple on a couch: the woman, wearing a sweater and jeans, covers her ears with pillows; the man, in a denim jacket, looks frustrated and up toward the ceiling

Is the peal of passion something you hear once or twice a month?

Or is it morning, noon and night daily?

A white-noise machine or a fan can drown out a whole lot.

A pair of headphones even more.

In the ideal world, the neighbor will apologize immediately and offer to make some significant adjustments.

To which the petitioning neighbor should express great gratitude.

Could an anonymous note do the job?

In such scenarios, be aware that punitive action may be slow to happen if it happens at all.

and How do I tell my neighbors I can hear them having sex?

Got a question about a thorny interpersonal issue youre having?

Email us at relationships@huffpost.com and well get it answered.This article originally appeared onHuffPost.