All she did was complain that I didn’t do enough for her."
Reddit useru/tippytoes1216posed thequestion: “When did you realize you married the wrong person?”
The thread quickly filled with hundreds of heartbreaking stories and shocking realizations.
Here are some of the most striking and surprising:
Warning: Post contains mentions of abusive relationships.
u/angiebenz
2. u/ForPrivateMatters
3.
“I had two little children and was still breastfeeding one of them and got pneumonia.
I said okay; the children were sleeping.
In the morning, he wasn’t at home.
I called my sister to help me with the children because I felt too weak.
At about 9:00, he waltzed in.
Later, I found out he had spent the night with another woman.”
u/Mathe-Omi
4.
My then-husband had spent the entire day playing games on his PC.
Thankfully, the dog wasn’t injured.
u/ttthelovewitchhh
5.
“We were in the bathroom getting showered and dressed for a friends wedding.
She was finishing her makeup and I remarked at how beautiful she looked.
I waited for her to say something nice in reply, but she didnt.
And then it just hit me.
I couldnt remember a single time that she complimented me on my appearance.
She stopped applying her mascara long enough to dismissively roll her eyes at me.
So, I made the mistake of asking her, ‘Do you even find me attractive?’
She flatly said no.
I asked, ‘Why did you marry me then?’
and she said, ‘I didnt think it was important at the time.'”
“I’d never felt so ugly and unloved.
u/Seandouglasmcardle
6.
I should have known better.
I’m happily divorced from him now.”
u/UnsureAboutHumans
7.
That shook my whole foundation.
I couldn’t stop having those kind of thoughts.
You don’t earn love.
It’s freely given, especially to children."
u/Far-Phone8791
8.
“We’d been married for several years and the marriage had gotten increasingly worse.
He started lecturing me, in an infantilizing way, on how they fit inside each other.
u/miranda_alexis_
9.
The moment I read those words, I realized how big of mistake I had made.”
u/Valiantlycaustic
10.
“He threw a surprise birthday for me.
Towards the end, I was inside, near the food table, and everyone had already gone outside.
Anyone, even a stranger on the road, was always more important.
He just did not care about me.
He only did things because of how he would appear to others.”
u/100thusername
11.
“I waited on her hand and foot.
Every night, I brought her a tea.
She was shocked that I asked and said, ‘Absolutely not.’
I knew at that moment that she never would.
All she did was complain that I didn’t do enough for her.
It took me a while, but I realized I was in an abusive relationship.
u/incredibleninja
12.
“It was a Wednesday night after a terrible day at work.
I had cooked supper and done the dishes while he sat on his phone.
I was in tears rinsing them out and exasperatedly asked him if he could clean up after himself.
He said to me: ‘If you don’t like it, you could go somewhere else.'”
u/MyBlueHighway
13.
“I had no idea how he felt about me after almost nine years together.
He didn’t propose; I did.
He didn’t tell his family when we married; they found out online.
He never shared his energy or emotions with me.
I didn’t know if he thought I was cool, or funny, or interesting, or smart.
I would share myself with him my thoughts, interests, humor.
I’d get nothing in return.
I realized it had always been this way.
I felt unseen and unheard.
I felt like I was boring and uninteresting.
I didn’t feel special.
I just wanted to feel some sort of connection.
I wanted our souls to meet.
He seemed incapable.”
u/Secure_Orange2855
14.
“When he didnt mention me in his speech at our wedding.
He thanked everyone else, commented on the bridesmaids, and talked about our daughters.
I may as well not have even been there.
So much for ‘in sickness and in health!'”
u/LBelle0101
15.
I still stayed, and then other things piled up, so I filed for divorce.”
u/Kitchen_Mix_3665
16.
If YOU have a problem, then it’s possible for you to go.’
I realized he had given up before I had.
The tune changed when I actually asked for a separation three months later."
u/XTheHighPriestessII
17.
“We were not married, but together for years.
I got diagnosed with cancer and she kinda shut off.
She then decided to leave several months later.
She never wanted anything to do with it.
It was a revelation that the relationship break-down wasn’t all because of me.
I get my three-year tests this weekend blood tests, scans, etc.
My current girlfriend is driving me and then taking me out to lunch afterwards.
Heck of an upgrade.”
u/HarrargnNarg
18.
“It was actually almost immediately after getting married.
Our relationship had taken a nosedive as soon as we moved in together.
I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry.”
u/gridironbuffalo
19.
“When I got her to admit she was having an affair.
10 years of marriage, two kids.
u/RalphFTW
20.
She couldve taken him, but no, she had to go shopping.
Anyway, I divorced her a couple of years later.
u/seeafish
21.
“When my aunt, who I loved dearly, passed away.
She was only 54 and I was devastated by her loss, which my husband knew.
As soon as we got home, my husband said, ‘Well, thats that.
We can move on now.’
I was speechless and went to bed by myself, feeling so utterly lonely.
Two days later, he forgot my birthday.
Weve been divorced for seven years now.”
u/Tahity1986
22.
“A week after we were married, we had a minor disagreement.
u/irislatifolia
23.
This might have been at the 13-year mark.”
u/PenelopeGarcia65
24.
“When he was messaging a side chick on our wedding day.
Boy, did it go sideways from there.”
u/Hora_Moan
25.
“I knew when our child was three months old and I had the absolute worst case of mastitis.
I was so weak, I couldnt even pick up the baby.
I asked him to c’mon stay home from work and help me.
He told me to call my mum, then left for work.
u/the_serpent_queen
26.
I’m an atheist.
Religion was not a subject we had discussed before she got pregnant.
I eventually realized she had used me to have the children she wanted.
She didnt care about my wants and desires at all.”
u/squirrel-phone
27.
I hoped she would grow up and stop being selfish and childish.
She never did.”
u/Dash_Harber
28.
“When I found my sister-in-law’s social security card in his wallet.
Hed stolen her wallet.
u/WhenSquirrelsFry
29.
Her exact words were, ‘I need you to make them dinner.
I’m running late to meet up with everyone.'”
u/No_Nectarine6007
30. u/jillybrews226
31.
“I come from a poor family; she doesnt.
Her family gave us $10,000 for our wedding.
She spent it on a motorcycle.
I was struggling to make my bills each month.
She did it anyway.
I told her I was done after living in the house I didn’t want for six months.
She told all my friends and family it was because I was cheating on her.
I lost a lot of my friends, but Ive never been happier.
She can keep em.”
u/Dont_Shred_On_Me
32. u/squeamish
33.Finally: “Together for 15 years, married for 13.
This was about four months ago.
Were still together, but I just cant get over it.”
u/LankySquash4
My heart hurts for everyone who shared their stories.
And, to those reading: I hope you never experience anything like this.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
