Hyper-independence can often stem from experiences of trauma, such as having unreliable caregivers as a child.
Theres no shortage of bangers that celebrate being independent.
Theres no question that American culture sees independence as a virtue.
Doing something on your own without asking for help is praised.
Certainly, there is value in being independent.
Knowing the difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence is tricky.
Healthy Independence Vs. Hyper-Independence
Hyper-independence is over-relying on yourself and under-relying on others.
Its all about severity.
Ross emphasized that independence isnt inherently bad; it is often a good thing.
All three therapists told HuffPost that hyper-independence can negatively impact ones life in a few ways.
According to Auer, one is that life can get really overwhelming if you never ask for help.
This can lead to feeling really stressed or burned out, she said.
Forlenza added that hyper-independence can also make someone prone to self-isolation, leading toloneliness.
Hyper-independence can get in the way of maintaining healthy relationships, particularly romantic relationships.
In romantic relationships, the goal is to be a team.
This makes it very hard to have a trusting, vulnerable relationship, she said.
Auer added that the inability to be trusting and vulnerable can also impede family relationships and friendships.
Forlenza agreed, saying, Humans are social beings.
Were meant to rely on each other.
So, how do you start to do that if it goes against every fiber in your being?
There may have been reasons for your hyper-independence in the past that were important.
Its really helpful to honor and express gratitude for whats worked about it, she said.
Next, Forlenza said to think about areas of your life where being hyper-independent isnt working for you.
It feels really good to help!
Thats how you build a healthy relationship, Auer said.
Extreme codependencyisnt good either, Ross said.
Its important to find the inner ground.
But when taken to the extreme, independence can lead to anxiety, burnout and loneliness.
Everyone needs help from time to time and asking for it isnt a sign of weakness.
In fact, it will very likely make you stronger.This article originally appeared onHuffPost.
