Are you too responsible for your own good?
Are you highly critical of any mistake you make?
You must be an oldest daughter.
(Side note: You dont.)
They may feel responsible for younger siblings and even their parents, she added.
For many eldest daughters, the responsibility is so much that they fill a parental role.
This further speaks to the heightened responsibility that many feel.
Sometimes thats explicitly told to them, that they are responsible.
And that pressure to be responsible causes them to feel like they cant make their parents worry.
This creates a huge sense of perfectionism, she said.
And so because theyve been parentified and adultified, then they have really high expectations.
Societal pressures dont help, either.
So eldest daughters have that double dose.
This all puts an unfair burden on eldest daughters, which can diminish their happiness.
And these tough feelings dont just stop once an eldest daughter reaches adulthood.
Its something that eldest daughters just do without thinking.
And how would all of thisnotimpact happiness?
They can get burnt out.
They can experience symptoms of anxiety or depression.
Awareness is the first step in moving past these issues.
But there may be parts that you do enjoy, and that is OK. ## Inner-child work and self-compassion are important, too.
What did little you want to do that you didnt get to do?
Once you decide on that, do some of those things.
Little-kid you had to be tougher than you should have ever had to be.
Were going to have the same day no matter what.
For eldest daughters who thrive off rigidity and perfectionism, it can be hard to stop that cycle.
Its like, If Im not hard on myself, then Im not safe, Harris said.
But that isnt true, she stressed.
The body really is thankful when were not so hard on ourselves.This article originally appeared onHuffPost.
