This seemingly innocent message can cause a spiral.
Here’s why, and what it’s possible for you to send instead.
Texts are inherently difficult to decipher.
For people with anxiety, texting can be particularly tricky to navigate.
This, in turn, can spike anxiety levels.
One of the worst texts to send with someone with anxiety: Can we talk?
If you have anxiety, this might have just sent a shiver down your spine.
If you dont, you may be wondering why the heck this even matters.
Below, therapists break it all down.
Because text messages lack certain nonverbal cues, were constantly assuming the senders tone and intention, Oliver-Gans said.
Assuming anothers intention can take a negative turn if anxiety trickles in.
already has a negative connotation.
Who ever said, Can we talk?
and had great news to share?
The ambiguity of Can we talk?
can cause people to ruminate or assume the worst.
The anxious brain then starts preparing for whatever terrible outcome its imagined.
It can be really distressing and exhausting, Galligher said.
Whats A Better Way To Phrase Your Text Message?
When crafting your message, be aware that its easy for texts to be misinterpreted.
For example, instead of Can we talk?
Do you have 15 minutes later today?
If youre on the receiving end of a vague message, its perfectly OK to ask follow-up questions.
I recommend looking for clarification rather than slipping into avoidance, rumination and catastrophizing, Oliver-Gans said.
Ask yourself if theres a chance they just sent a quick, carelessly written message.
There may very well be a simple explanation perhaps they were multitasking!
that doesnt involve a doomsday scenario.
