“I cried after reading it and honestly dont know what to think.
I thought I was just enjoying my vacation, but they clearly had a different view.”
However, things really took a dramatic turn when everyone got home.
I’ve known them both since university; we’ve always been close.
“Jake and I arrived in Bali earlier than the rest of the group because we had different flights.
To be nice, I even surprised them with massages to give them a break.”
We went out and had a great time.
We got home at 1 a.m., and I passed out straight after.
She even said I was just focused on partying and not acting my age.
This message really hurt me."
“I cried after reading it and honestly dont know what to think.
I thought I was just enjoying my vacation, but they clearly had a different view.
Am I the assholefor how I acted during the trip?”
I cant imagine ever expecting someone else to share the childcare load.
They are angry at themselves for their own life choices."
“Not the asshole.There are a lot of assumptions from your friends here.
Why would you be expected to help them with their kids?
They’re not your responsibility.
Their husbands left them to look after the children.
Because you’re a woman?
F*ck that.
Was there any discussion about expectations before going on holiday?
You’ve done nothing wrong and certainly didn’t ruin their holiday.
It’s not on you that they had unreasonable expectations,“said4_feck_sake.
Why arent you mad at your husbands for lessening your load?
Why would you expect me to?
Is it because Im a woman?
They are your responsibility, not your friend’s.
Trying to pawn off your kids on your child-free friends is BS,'“suggestedBonnm42.
DeedlesVadvised, “You have nothing to apologize for.
I would send a note explaining that you didnt know they wanted you to babysit.
This was a three-family trip.
Mention that the husbands were drinking every night.
Did they ruin the trip as well?
Do all three of you live in the same city?”
“They sound like they highly expected you to help care for their kids.
Since you had a drink that took your babysitting role off the table they sound immature!
I am also child-free, but it wasnt by choice.”
“Every friend I knew before they had kids eventually ghosted me once they became parents.
I have friends who already had kids when we met.
Im in my 50s, so most of my friends kids are grown.
Many of them are lonely and aimless now that they dont have kids at home.
I hope this situation turns out in whatever way is best for you.
But just dont let other peoples issues convince you to dim your light.”
I will share this Reddit post with our mutual friends who want the tea.
I told Jake about it, and he just said good riddance.
I’m visiting Japan next March and Fiji in December for a wedding.
