“I now live in complete and utter filth.”
Here’s what went down:
“I’m at my wits end.
Everything changed after marriage and I couldn’t tell you why.
Our biggest problem is cleaning.
My husband used to clean up after himself but after marriage he just completely stopped with no warning.
We were dating for three years, engaged for one, and now freshly married.
We’re 28 and 29.”
“After we got married my husband stopped cleaning.
It was like he’s been intentionally dirtying things up.
“I’m rarely home due to the mess.
I live part-time with my sister at this point and he doesn’t even care.
I come home only to sleep at night and sometimes I don’t even come home at all.
“I’m completely over it.
I wanted to get married but this is not the man I married.
I would much rather be home where I belong, but I’m not a maid.”
I can guarantee you there’s more but I can’t describe it right.”
“It’s like he’s a toddler.
It’s exactly like mummy isn’t cleaning up so he’s tornadoing through our house and not caring.
Before he would scrape his plate, rinse it, then leave it.
I said if I don’t see some progress on the house then we’re over.”
I nearly popped a blood vessel.
We did not decide on that.
I cannot stand filth and I can’t live like this even if it’s for him.
The level of filth you’re describing is not just messy; it’s unsanitary and disrespectful.”
He truly believes this and will never change."
You are now married to the real person he always was.
Everything that came before was a lie.
He has shown you who he really is.
You are not throwing everything away over pride.
He’s a filthy toddler and that is not what you expected to marry.
It is NOT ‘only a mess’.
Do not believe you mother-in-law She was probably happy to be rid of him.
Again, BELIEVE HIM.
You’re seeing the REAL him.
Your life will not change or get better.
His comment made that perfectly clear.
Don’t waste any more of your time.
You are totally NTA."
u/Zealousideal_Mood118
Others thought OP was the A-hole:
“YTA.
For better for worse.
Hire someone to clean and make him pay.
Everyone wants to get divorces over things that can be remedied.
I’m so tired of reading these posts.”
u/poppabear8888
“NTA as long as you actually follow through.
YTA if you just use this as a casual threat when you get mad.”
You’re not considering that this is bigger than cleaning.
If he was always cleaning and suddenly stopped, there’s something else going on here.
I was generally unhappy with my life."
u/throw_away485839
And then there are those who think that everyone sucks here:
“ESH.
You don’t threaten divorce, you don’t protest by matching his behaviour, you communicate.
You both deserve each other.”
u/GreenArrowCuz
“Dude, hire a cleaner, make him pay for it.
You stopped cleaning also.
Guess you both will have to live with the consequences.
A lot of you will throw away a relationship bc its not perfect.
Perfect only exists on paper.
u/jfern009
My take?
Perhaps some more communication is needed, but I can’t say that I blame OP.
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Additional thumbnail credits: Fox / Nickelodeon / ABC
