When it comes to relationship dynamics, everyone is different.
“My husband comes from a ‘traditional’ family.
Mum’s a SAHM, father was sole provider.
“My husband worked hard to unlearn the values he saw replicated at home.
The one thing that grinds my gears is how much weight he puts on the opinions of his family.
“My in-laws are staying with us for two weeks.
This is how we’ve always done it, and it works.”
“My in-laws hate that I’m ‘one of those modern women’.
They have, for the most part, respected this.”
“I got home yesterday after work, tired and starving.
I typically get home 18:15/30 and we eat at 19:00.
I said quick hellos and ran up for a pre-dinner shower.
She told me I needed to do my duty as a wife and cook for my family.
My coward of a husband still wasn’t looking at me.
I just walked away and ordered takeaway.
I dished up for me and my kids and we sat at the table to eat.
My husband and his parents served themselves and joined us.”
I asked my husband if he had anything to say.
“This is where I might be the asshole.
He looked hurt and I saw tears welling in his eyes.”
“He excused himself from the table.
You should have ordered only enough food for you and the kids.”
u/WhyCommentQueasy
“I love that you ordered enough.
You ‘did your duty’ and fed your family, so they cant be mad.
AND you did it as an income provider also!
Is like a double ‘kill them with kindness’ kick.”
Do not feel guilty over this.
When he joined his mother in her BS, he brought it upon himself.
He needed that reality check and sounds like it stung him hard.
Next time the in-laws show up, just take the kids & leave.
Let him deal with his parents stupidity.
Just because they are family, it does not mean that you have to put up with their crap.
Sending you hugs & positivity!”
Your husband was indeed a coward.
u/owls_and_cardinals
“It NEEDED to be said in front of the children.
Displaying self confidence and self respect is extremely important for their future relationships.
Especially when other family members are speaking ill of that person in front of the children.
She did not cuss or yell.
Modeling standing up for oneself is a great lesson and a great skill to have.”
Your husbands stupidity/jerkiness/asshole/cowardly behavior does not absolve your own asshole behavior.
You basically called him a broke/failure/loser in front of your five kids.
How is that not AH behavior?
How is that any better than saying, maybe you should cook more?”
u/FelixGurnisso
“Sounds like a very one sided relationship.
u/Nasigoring
“YTA for for not taking the higher ground.
u/thenord321
“Were you harsh?
I would strongly encourage you and your husband get into counselling.
Your husband needs to learn how to set and enforce boundaries with his parents.
u/Specific-Syllabub-54
My take?
OP is not the A-hole.
is below the belt.
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Additional thumbnail credits: Nickelodeon / Fox / ITV
