“He can’t decide this is what your future is without your input.”
“I recently found out I’m pregnant with my boyfriend Andrew’s child.
We have been dating for three years and our relationship is pretty good.
Initially we considered aborting or placing the baby for adoption but decided to keep it.”
He also said he would marry me so I would have extra security."
“I admit I burst out laughing when he suggested this.
It’s just insane to me.
“Also what if he gets sick or dies?
I’m the first person in my entire family to earn my degree.
My parents were immigrants and both had elementary school level education.
That Andrew was offering to care for me and my baby and I responded by mocking him.”
Plenty can attest to how that has left them vulnerable.
He had this all planned out in respect to whathewanted.
He wants you to be a SAHM.
He wants the life HE had growing up for his child, which isn’t a bad thing necessarily.
He even spoke about it with his boss before speaking toyouthe person who would be most affected by this.
If he thinks baby will benefit from having a SAHP, he can stay home.
He can’t decide this is what your future is without your input.”
u/HunterDangerous1366
Some users think OP is the A-hole:
“YTA.
This is a read the room moment.
As misguided as you think it was, he was sincere.
I’ll be clear, you are not the asshole for not wanting to be a SAHM.
He clearly wants the best for the three of you.
But, he also didn’t ask your opinion or take your upbringing and education into account.
He really should’ve had a conversation with you.
You also clearly want the best for the three of you.
Everyone (minus the baby, congrats btw) could have done better with this exchange.”
At the same time, this doesnt make OP a bad person.
None of this requires you laughing at your partner or insulting their beliefs and dreams.
YTA unless you apologise for laughing at your partner, and stop using words like stupid or insane.
Theyll only further damage your relationship.
You dont need to apologise for having different values and beliefs from your partner.
And DONT listen to the horde of bitter redditors dumping on your partner and puffing up your ego.
Your ego might love to hear it, but those people arent actually invested in you or your relationship.
You shouldnt let their emotional grandstanding lead you astray."
u/gregsatin162
My take?
This could have been handled better on both sides.
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
