Don’t blame me, blame Mattel.
“Every night is girls' night.
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
2.
“How can I be a fascist?
I don’t control the railways or the flow of commerce.”
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
3.
“There are no multiples of Allan.
Narrator (Helen Mirren)
4.
“She’s not dying, she’s just having an existential crisis.”
Gloria (America Ferrera)
5.
“I’m a liberated man.
I know crying’s not weak.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
6.
“Midge was Barbie’s pregnant friend.
Let’s not show Midge, actually.
She was discontinued by Mattel because a pregnant doll is just too weird.”
Narrator (Helen Mirren)
7.
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
8.
“So you’re like ‘Barbie’ Barbie?
Like a professional bimbo?”
Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt)
9.
“That’s because they’re dream houses, motherf*cker.”
President Barbie (Issa Rae)
10.
“I’m just Ken.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
11.
“No, no, no, no.
I’m not a sugar daddy.
This is Sugar, and I’m her daddy.”
Sugar Daddy Ken (Rob Brydon)
12.
“Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
13.
“All of NSYNC?
Allan (Michael Cera)
14.
“You’re kenough.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
15.
“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come.”
Ruth (Rhea Perlman)
16.
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
17.
“Oh, look, a construction site.
We need that good feminine energy.”
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
18.
“You should heal up in no time.
Actually, in the time that it took for me to say that sentence, you healed.”
Barbie (Hari Nef)
19.
“kindly call me mother.”
Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
20.
“Women are at the foundation of this company!
There was a female CEO in the ’90s and then another one…at some point.
So that’s two right there!”
Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
21.
“We have to always be extraordinary but somehow were always doing it wrong.”
Gloria (America Ferrera)
22.I will beach both of you off at the same time!
Ken (Simu Liu)
23.
Walking away “Sublime!”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
24.
“Her ghost keeps an office on the 17th floor.”
Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
25.
“You guys are not doing patriarchy very well.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
26.
“You have to be their mommies but not remind them of their mommy.
Any power you have must be masked under a giggle.”
Gloria (America Ferrera)
27.
“I can do the splits.
I have a funky haircut and I smell like basement.”
Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
28.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
29.
“I’d like to see what nude blob he’s packing under those jeans.”
Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
30.
“I do not have a vagina and he does not have a penis.
We have no genitals.”
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
31.
“Im here to see my gynecologist!
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
33.
Screaming “FLAT FEET!”
Barbie (Hari Nef)
34.
“Fine, get cellulite.
I don’t care.”
Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
35.
“Does the label ‘long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend’ mean nothing to her?”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
36.
Gloria (America Ferrera)
37.
“I’m trained to stand confidently here.”
Ken (Ryan Gosling)
38.
“I’m sensing some kind of entendre here…and it is acting like double.”
Barbie (Margot Robbie)
39.
Gloria (America Ferrera)
40.
“Do you guys ever think about dying?”
And you’ve got the option to never say you want to be thin.
You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.
You have to be a boss, but you might’t be mean.
You have to lead, but you’ve got the option to’t squash other people’s ideas.
You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
But never forget that the system is rigged.
So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you!
