These words and the assumption behind them are surprisingly toxic to relationships.
You jump to conclusions, wondering: Did I do something wrong?Is he mad at me?
Your normally chatty sister-in-law leaves you on read a few times and your imagination goes into overdrive.
Inevitably, this kind of guesswork and relationshipcatastrophizinghurts the bonds you share with family and friends.
This line of thinking is also a tad narcissistic.
Noteverythingin your friends life revolves around you.
Add in a pandemic, and people are just unprecedentedly busy, not usually mad at you.
What happens is situations like this take on a different meaning.
How are you doing?
I have been wanting to reach out to you and I hope all is well.
I feel like I have dropped the ball, too!
It could be that you have an anxious attachment style.
(Read theory and the three major types of attachment styles here.)
People with anxious attachment styles need more reassurance about their relationships.
Theyre often prone to reading too deeply into any given situation, saidBrittany Bouffard, a psychotherapist in Denver.
An anxious attachment style could also lead you to self-blame.
Another possible reason for your outsized worry?
Perhaps youve been feeling overwhelmed with life, anxious, or just feeling meh, Davin said.
That said, phasing out a friend viaghosting(like some common Tinder match!)
is rarely the best way to un-friend a former bestie.
But as friendship expert and psychologistAndrea Boniorpreviously told HuffPost,that only works when theres mutuality.
Dont leave the person hanging if they dont seem to be backing off as well,she said.
In that case, you owe it to them to have a more direct (if awkward!)
conversation about how you see your life moving in a different direction.
Maybe your friend doesnt necessarily want to end your relationship, but shocker of all shockers!
they are mad at you and are expecting an apology.
What to do instead of wondering Is so-and-so mad at me?
Are they just really busy?
It may be a simple misunderstanding that can easily be cleared up, Levine said.
Start by simply asking your friend how they are, Poss said.
you’re able to mention that youve noticed a certain change and wanted to check on them.
Let them know you are available to listen and support if there is an issue, she said.
