Note: This post contains mentions of pregnancy loss.
Recently, Iaskedmembers of theBuzzFeed Communityto open up about their fertility journeys.
IUI (intrauterine insemination) is a procedure that consists of placing prepared sperm into the uterus.
When the embryo is fertilized, it is then transferred to the uterus.
Clomidis a medication that helps treat those who don’t ovulate regularly or at all.
I have severe PCOS and do not ovulate on my own.
I started gaining weight, and my anxiety got out of control."
“We started the fertility journey with hormone-stimulating medication and had a successful IUI.
Then, when we were ready for our second.
We had 4-5 failed IUIs following, and I was devastated.
We decided to switch to a different fertility clinic with more 1:1 care.
The waiting process after egg retrievals is the most painstaking experience.
You wait for phone calls, and they aren’t always good.
We successfully transferred frozen embryos in December 2021; our baby girl just turned 18 months.
We are now getting ready for our next transfer tomorrow!!!
Terrified, nervous, excited.
baileyditullio
2.
“My husband and I were married at 25 and started trying to conceive at 30.
Attempted IUI, then IVF from 3234.
I did become pregnant with several IVF rounds but miscarried five times between 813 weeks gestation.
We never had any answers for our infertility or miscarriages.
We tried surrogacy twice, transferring our eggs to a surrogate who never conceived.
I had to drive all over my state just to find pharmacies with the shots in stock.”
Many women find those terribly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t so bad.
purpletruck35
4.
“I’m going on year five of TTC (trying to conceive).
We’ve also been on an adoption waitlist for just about two years.
We are mentally, physically, and financially exhausted.
If one more person posts a pregnancy announcement, I think I’m going to crack.”
“I’ve been happily married since 2006.
We decided to give a shot to have a baby about a year after we were married.
I started out with just simple medication and that didn’t help.
I underwent different procedures to check my fallopian tubes and ultrasounds to check for cysts.
We then moved to artificial insemination two times and that didn’t work.”
“We were out of luck because our insurance wouldn’t cover anything else.
We just keep trying for years on our own with no luck.
By this time, I was 41, and age was a factor.
My fertility doctor suggested we move on to donor eggs.
We bought 16 eggs from an anonymous donor.
Twelve fertilized, and eight made it to blast.
I went in for my first transfer and was successful!
I loved being pregnant and enjoyed every minute of it!
Kelly, 43
6.
“I never grew up with the desire to have children, but I wanted my partner’s child.
We both went through tests that showed no biological reason for our infertility.
We did IUI which cost $350 each time.
After some time we stopped, and later we ended the journey altogether.
The sorrow, frustration, and physical toll that the process already took on us was enough.
“Now we’re dealing with the fall out.
Structured sex eventually took all intimacy from our relationship.
I am bitter over other people having kids, especially those close to me.
I’ve turned completely inward and spend little time with friends or family.
My partner lost a parent during this time, complicating their feelings even further.
Our communication and ability to support each other have fractured.
Infertility grief is a real thing that is ignored, heavily misunderstood, and lasts a lifetime.
You don’t have a funeral for a dream.
It’s embarrassing and shameful, so it’s kept in the dark.
Often, I wish we never tried.
I consider myself Childless Not By Choice (CNBC) and have found comfort in that community.
Also, pets are everything.
Guess which one I am.'”
Anonymous
7.
“I got pregnant right away at 33, only to have a miscarriage at eight weeks.
After another year of trying with no luck, my OB/GYN sent me to a fertility clinic.
We spent a summer trying IUI before turning to IVF.
My egg retrieval resulted in 15 healthy eggs, of which nine were fertilized.”
“Starting at 31, my husband and I tried to get pregnant for two years.
You truly never know what will happen!”
Jackie, 35
10.
“I was a gestational carrier for another couple twice.
The couple had already done IVF to create and freeze embryos.
To the people dealing with infertility: you are amazing, resilient, powerful, and enough.
“I waited until 30 to finally settle down and get married.
We started trying for a baby immediately; my husband and I can’t see a future without children.
In my follow-up pap to retest for cancer, my doctor asked if I had planned on having kids.
I then had a surgery to correct this.
It makes you so hormonal; I cried about literally everything.
I cried once because I had to buy dog food.
I cried because I ordered food and no longer wanted it when it was delivered.
Along with Clomid, we did four rounds of IUI.
I cried for a year nonstop, gained 30 pounds, and was miserable.
So, the journey begins again.
Good luck to everyone out there trying.
Miracles happen every day.
Hopefully, one is in my future, too.
Kelsey, 33
12.
We got pregnant the first month we tried, which was an uncomplicated pregnancy.
But when we tried for number two, I had two miscarriages and then an ectopic pregnancy.
This was all over the course of eight months.
It was so heartbreaking, frustrating, and devastating.”
“We immediately started IVF.
The process itself is relatively short but its very intense and stressful.
Your body and mind go through so much and you dont even know if it will work.
Our first embryo transfer worked and Im almost 8 months pregnant with a baby girl.
My heart breaks for women and couples who dont have the success we did.
This pregnancy has been so hard emotionally; I am constantly terrified that I will lose this baby.
Those losses really stick with you forever.
But Ive never been so thankful for anything in my life!
I feel honored to get to carry her.”
Emily, 36
13.
I got married at 28 and we decided to wait.
We did have one successful IVF pregnancy that resulted in an 18-month-old.
Ive been trying to have another baby for the past 6 months and each attempt has failed.
IVF is the most physically and emotionally draining thing Ive ever done.
I have an amazing spouse, but fertility treatments can be hard on a relationship.”
“Its a long story with a happy ending.
Not everyone gets a happy ending in the fertility world, so I feel very lucky.
We started trying shortly after we were married when I was 29.
I saw a fertility doctor just before my 30th birthday.
It turned out I had reduced ovarian reserve.
My first IVF was converted to IUI.
My next three IVF retrievals resulted in four embryos and three fresh transfers with negatives.
During a break, I got pregnant naturally but found out at the seven-week ultrasound there was no heartbeat.
We then pursued anonymous frozen egg donation through Donor Egg Bank USA.
They were great, but it still took three donor lots and four transfers to have our daughter.
I was nearly 38 when she was born.”
My daughter is almost three now, and I’m so happy as our family of three.
I’m so glad to be past the fertility stage of my life.
Those seven years of pregnancy were so long.
I was jealous of others and so sad.
Therapy, Zoloft, fertility Instagram, and gratitude journaling helped me.
But it’s easy to say that now in hindsight.
Good luck to those of you starting this process, and hang in there to those in the middle.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
A, 40
15.
“I’m sharing because I think fertility and pregnancy treatment look a lot of different ways.
I didn’t need help getting pregnant, but I did need help staying that way.
I’d had a miscarriage, and my doctor said my progesterone level was upsettingly low.
You have to lie down for 20 minutes after.
Once we got past the first trimester, things got better.
It was worth it my baby is here.
