“Because they have a lot, they tend to be unappreciative and a bit greedy.”
Youre standing in the checkout line at the store when your son grabs aFrozen 2stuffedanimal.
Mommy, can I get this Olaf doll?
I really, really want it!
When you tell him no, he yells I hate you!
If this scene sounds familiar, youre not alone.
The spoiled child problemappears to be getting worse, too.
We asked parenting experts to reveal the signs that you might be raising a spoiled kid.
Below, they also share advice that will help you undo some of those behaviors.
What Makes A Child “Spoiled,” Anyway?
A spoiled child is used to getting what they want when they want it with few exceptions.
Clinical psychologistLaura Markhamtakes issue with the term spoiled because she believes it suggests the child is somehow ruined.
Nor does she like using the word brat to describe a kid.
When parents spoil their children, their intentions are often good, albeit misguided.
Other times, parents are just too exhausted to enforce the rules or set any in the first place.
Its plain easier to give in when youre tired, Borba said.
We hate to say no when weve been gone [at work] all day.
Signs Your Kid Could Be Spoiled
Not sure if your kiddo fits the bill?
Below are seven expert-backed signs they might be overindulged and under-disciplined.
When you tell them no, they throw a tantrum until they get their way.
But spoiled children have a particularly hard time taking no for an answer.
How does your kid typically respond to the word no?
Spoiled kids cant handle the word.
They expect to get what they want and usually do.
Theyre never satisfied with what they have.
Because they have a lot, they tend to be unappreciative and a bit greedy, Borba said.
Instead of expressing their gratitude for what they have, theyre more focused on getting the next thing.
They may start to say thank you less and I want more, Smith Crawford said.
They think the world revolves around them.
Spoiled kids tend to be self-centered.
They arent all thatconcerned with inconveniencing other people.
Spoiled kids think more of themselves than of others, Borba said.
They feel entitled and expect special favors.
They demand things ASAP.
Bratty children arent particularly patient: When they want something, they want itnow.
Its usually easier to give in than to postpone the childs request, Borba said.
They don’t give up until they get what they want.
They refuse to complete even simple tasks until you beg or bribe them.
Its normal for kids to need some prompting tobrush their teeth or clean up their toys, for example.
But once a parent asks them to do something, they should listen.
clinical psychologistSuzanne Gelb wrote in a HuffPost blog.
So un-spoiling is doable.
Remember, there is no gene for spoiled, Borba said.
Its a learned behavior that can be unlearned and the quicker, the better.
It wont be an easy transition for you or your kid so be prepared for that.
Commit to modifying your indulgent ways, knowing that its going to be uncomfortable to stand your ground.
You should anticipate resistance from your child.
Allow them to cry and be upset, Markham said.
Get used to saying no without guilt.
Once you set your boundaries, you have to stick to them consistently.
Add no to your vocabulary and dont feel guilty about using it with your kids, Borba said.
Dont let your childs spoiled ways win.
Dont give into every issue.
When setting limits, do so with empathy and understanding, Markham said.
You dont need to be a tyrant for these methods to be effective.
Remember that children accept limits more gracefully if they feel warmly connected to the parent, she said.
Emphasize that giving is better than receiving.
And start boosting the concept that who you are is more important than what you own, Borba said.
Practice gratitude as a family.
This is a great way to begin to teach gratitude and honoring the good in each day.
Teach them to be considerate of others.
When everything in your childs life is me, me, me, shift the focus to we.
Look for those everyday moments to do so, Borba said.
Like, Lets ask Alice what she would like to do; How do you think Daddy feels?
Ask your friend what he would like to play or Lets go volunteer at the soup kitchen.
Remember that kids respond best to encouragement, not punishment.
Help them appreciate the little things in life.
This article originally appeared onHuffPost.
