“Learn to accept when a woman says ‘no’ as something normal.
You are not entitled to a yes.”
So weaskedwomen who date men of theBuzzFeed Community: what are young men getting wrong?
And what could they do better?
Here’s what they had to say:
1. runner1399
2.
“Develop curiosity about the women in your life what are their fears?
What do they think is funny, interesting, beautiful?
When you’re talking to a woman, ask her questions, don’t just talk about yourself.”
anonymous
3.
“Learn to accept when a woman says ‘no’ as something normal.
You are not entitled to a yes.”
“Stop thinking we are all the same.
We are individuals with different tastes, personalities, needs and values.
“Something they get wrong is treating women only as a source of sex or porn.
Like they treat women more like an object to get off to than a person.
All the straight ladies on dating apps know what I’m talking about.
lanaskca
“Immediately/quickly making sex jokes in a dating app chat is so weird to me.
We are strangers would you say that shit out loud if you hit on me in a Starbucks?”
re89245
6.
“Not knowing how to have a conversation on dating apps.
One word answers, not reciprocating and asking questions.
Like why are we even talking?!
What’s the point?
Where do they expect this to go?!”
“Asking for dates way too early in dating app conversations.
It’s so frustrating and displays a complete lack of basic conversational skills.”
ericam4968e0c88
9.
“Expecting the behavior of a serious girlfriend from a casual hookup.
If you want casual, be casual.
But if you want a serious girlfriend, you gotta be ready to be a serious boyfriend.”
It’s usually not how real sex works and will set unrealistic expectations.
problematik
11.
“Ghosting is the cowards way out!
Man up and have an adult conversation.”
“Your wife/gf/partner/spouse is NOT your mom or your therapist.
Learn how to take care of yourself and your space.
Learn how to emotionally regulate.
Have friendships that go beyond drinking or video games.
Develop your own interests and hobbies because being ‘nice’ is not a substitute for having a personality.”
alundquist93
14.
No, because that means you think you own us, like an object.
Or that we owe you something.
Youve ‘done so much for me’ by picking up a $19 tab?
15.“Ask.
elinumber2
16. jeez "
juliajoseph
17.
If your feelings are hurt, instead of lashing out, say that you’re hurt.
Yes, some people are assholes and will take issue with that.
sarahbird
19.
Teaching the realities of womanhood when theyre BOYS would be great.
applesauceandchops
20.
If you are a good and kind person good things come to you including good relationships.
Also, no one owes you anything.”
jadeeatsbeans
21.
“A lot of men in their 20s are incredibly shallow.
I’m a fat woman and men are absolutely horrible to me purely because of my size.
They miss out on so many relationships because they refuse to confront their fatphobia.
Give the heavier girls a chance and stop worrying about what other people might think.”
“Understand that some women’s general caution or cynicism regarding men is not a personal insult.
This goes for both for mutual hookups and dating.
What your last sexual partner loved may be a turn off to this new person.”
The biggest one is that you shouldn’t take relationship advice from male focused places.
Back then it was magazines, now it’s online forums.
too_much_macaroni_sweats
25. justchillman
26.
So if you come on too strong, too quickly, you will likely just scare her off.”
louisiana54
27.
“Something they wrongly think is that if we say no to your advances, it means keep trying.
It’s basically just like a child throwing a tantrum.”
tingtangwallawallabingbang
28.
“Be honest about your intentions and dont play games.
If you dont want us to ‘act crazy’ dont mess with our heads.
sweetelf57
29.
You’re in for a real treat if you could love her and support her through it.”
“Do not ask how many guys she has slept with EVER.
Same applies vice versa.
“like just ask about boundaries.
It’s more than just physical.
If you help create that space to communicate, it’s much easier on all parties involved.”
“If you’re romantically interested in or platonically into someone, tell them.
If they don’t return the sentiment, take it in stride and move on.”
“This keeps everyone’s guesswork to a minimum and keeps you from embarrassing yourself.
If you have to ask, we most certainly did not.
DO NOT STOP UNTIL WE TELL YOU TO.”
So respect if they want to meet in a public place.
If you’re friends with a guy and a woman you know says he raped her, believe her.
Some entries have been edited for length or clarity.
