The behavior is also known as “backburnering” and it’s more common than you think.

Years ago, writer Sara C. felt palpable chemistry with a coworker.

They communicated regularly and had coffee dates.

Two people embracing, one resting their head on the other's shoulder, both appearing content

Then they slept together.

I think many people in steady relationships sometimes stagnate or get into tiffs that remain unresolved.

Whether its boredom or complacency or unresolved frustration, Im not sure, she added.

Man with glasses hugs a woman, both looking at his phone with concerned expressions

But it makes them see other people in a different light and can elevate the human connection.

Those lingering connections are sometimes calledbackburner relationships.

Its more than just a what-if situation, though.

A man and a woman sitting separately on a bed, looking away from each other, appearing upset

text is easy enough to maintain.

Marriage and family therapistElisabeth LaMottelikens cushioning to a pre-meditated version of rebounding.

Cushioning typically indicates an inability to exist without a relationship, she said.

Man giving woman a piggyback ride on a beach, both smiling, waves in the background

Once pursued, backburner relationships are subject to the same frustrating, everyday complications any other couple experiences.

Sometimes, the relationship peters out quickly or forces you to grapple with your own unresolved issues.

This was the case for comedian and writerXaxier Toby.

Toby said he now understands why backburner relationships are so common.

Instantly gratifying, addictive, but without any nutritional value.

If youre cushioning, ask yourself why you need the outside attention and validation.

Is it making up for some needs that are not being met in your relationship?

Is it distracting you from acknowledging that youre unhappy or disconnected from your partner?

Take your time if you need it.

But if you realize you want to refocus on your primary relationship, do so with intentionality.

Successful couples turn inwards, not outwards.This article originally appeared onHuffPost.